@Portufraise: “The trouble was I wanted so badly for those people to love and appreciate me the way I did them, that I kept trying to make them see I was worth it - and that meant making myself smaller, or accepting scraps of affection/attention (because I was already so lucky they'd have me, scraps seemed like a good compromise, you see) or not truly being able to express myself. It was exhausting.”

This is such an important realization! I remember clearly the moment I understood this and how liberating it was not to feel anymore that I needed what people were unwilling/unable to give.