@smokey @vasta This conversation couldn't come, for me, at a more apt moment. My situation at work, without going into too much detail, is this: positions of responsibility and leadership are opening up that people assume I am going to run for. (They are elected positions.) More than that, when they talk to me about them, they imply--whether intentionally or not--that they think my running is something I owe the department because the department needs me.

In some ways, and this is part of what makes the situation doubly difficult for me--because I do feel a sense of obligation to the department; I grew up there; this is my 30th year--in some ways, they are right. Because of my seniority; because I am a tenured, full professor; because of my institutional memory because I am generally well-liked and respected across campus by faculty and administrators alike, I am the logical next person to fill those roles. (Doesn't mean that others couldn't fill the position and do a fine job; just that, of the visible people, if I were looking at this from the outside, I would also be my choice.)

At the same time, though, I recently made a commitment to myself to prioritize my writing. I have applied for a fellowship that, if I get it, will take me away from the campus for a year--precisely the year when I would have to run for this position; I have applied for other opportunities as well, each of which would be potentially compromised by that position, were I to be elected (as I probably would be).

Originally, the way things seemed to be arranging themselves, the question of running or not running would not present itself until the 21-22 academic year, which would have fit very nicely with my plans. Now, circumstances have changed, and I will have to make the choice in the spring of this academic year about whether to run. My term would start in Fall 2020. So I have been thinking quite a about the question of what we owe to others. Not that this conversation has resolved anything for me, but thanks for further goading my thoughts.